The Car With the Bow? For Me? Oh, You Shouldn't Have!

You’re seeing them this time of year at dealerships and on TV: big bows attached to cars to sell you on the idea of giving your dearly beloved a 2-ton, $60,000 machine for Christmas. (Battery included.)

As for dealers, I get it: seasonal promotions, and their attendant symbols, are part and parcel of the retail environment. It’s the TV ads from the likes of Lexus that make me wonder how a bow 4 ft. (12 m) in diameter and stuck to a roof, windshield or hood is supposed to make a purchase as important and potentially controversial as a car appear festive.

Xbox? Check. Legos: Black Ops? Check. My Little Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? Check. RX350? As in gift car, not gift card? Check.

In these ads giver smiles warmly as gifted gapes with childlike wonder at the shiny bauble taking up most of the driveway. Sometimes children themselves join in the wonder-gaping. It’s ready for over-the-river-and-through-the-woods action once it’s symbolically “unwrapped” by removing the bow, although the commercials don’t show that; the sense of anticipation must be maintained.

Big bows are big business for the half-dozen or so manufacturers of the things. They were brought to our attention by Car Bow Store of Warminster, PA, whose president, Michael Rudolph, is quoted as saying, "Many dealerships use the bows as a 'throw-in' to close the deal."

Fair enough. But, as happens with all too many press releases, Car Bow Store takes things a bit too far when it attributes this claim to Rudolph: "We frequently hear from our customers that the recipients are more excited about the bow than the car itself!”

Truth be told, that assertion might not be terribly off the mark, if you find being “surprised” by the gift of an SUV carrying a 5-year, $600-a-month note and $100 monthly insurance bill – and painted a color you weren’t consulted about – less than exciting.

But enough from me.  My research into bow-centric advertising led me to this Saturday Night Live clip from 2002 that says it so much better: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/car-ad/2860792

If I were running an ad agency called upon to infuse a five- or six-figure investment with holiday mirth and merriment, tell you what I’d do: lose the bows and hire Matthew McConaughey to play Santa Claus.

Happy Holidays!