The Contrarian: Heaven Can't Wait

Cole: Ed Cole reporting as ordered, sir.

Gabriel: We're sending you back, Cole.

Cole: I thought we never went back, sir.

Gabriel: That's usually true, but there are exceptions, and we've got a job for you. The Big Guy always liked General Motors. You knew that. Now he's worried. He heard they are going to buy engines from Honda, and getting all-wheel-drive knowhow from Subaru. Did you hear that?

Cole: No, but that would be awful. A company that buys its engine and transmission technology from competitors is in serious trouble.

Gabriel: The Big Guy knows that. That's why he's sending you back. They tell me you were the best engine man ever. Did the '49 Cadillac short-stroke high- compression V-8, and the '55 small block Chevy V-8, best engine GM ever made. Still using the design, 45 years later, I hear. You're to go down and straighten them out. Get your orders from those three over there. I believe you know them.

Cole: Mr. Sloan. Boss Ket, Mr. Earl. What do you want me to do?

Alfred Sloan: Glad to see youse, Ed. Dem bums have wrecked duh best management systum in duh woild (Sloan was from Brooklyn, and even after the end, speaks with a strong Flatbush accent.) Duh systum I set up created experienced executives, like youse were Ed, men who had to know sumtin' about design and engineering, factories and labor, dealers and sales, advertising and duh press, too. Dey knew duh busness and how tuh get tings dun. Clear lines of autority. This here management systum loks like a maze, executives widoud power going no-wheres. I can't figure it oud, and I invented modern management! Anudder ting. This brand management. Get rid of that soap salesman, Ed. Tree more years of him and Ford will be oudselling us. Youse can't let dat happen Ed, nevuh nevuh. Not Ford. Nevuh.

Boss Kettering: Ed, you know my record: the self-starter, ending engine knock, quick-drying paint, the locomotive diesel. We became the biggest company in the world because we built the best product with the best technology. Ed, you were the best engine man ever, and now they are talking about buying Honda engines and technology. Ed, that's the end. Why buy a Chevy with a Honda engine? Why not buy the real thing? These guys today are technology challenged.

You know, I think this started when some guy put Chevy engines in an Oldsmobile a couple decades ago, remember that? And instead of apologizing and promising that it would never happen again, they stopped making division engines, they ended what had been a key to making General Motors the biggest and best automaker. I want you to know, Ed, that the guy who did that is downstairs right now - he still has 2,000 years to go roasting over the open pit fires. Now Ed, you've got to get them developing real technology and putting it in cars, and putting it in first, not last!

Harley Earl: Ed, you've seen what they are designing. Did you see that Chevy Malibu? Why, that doesn't hold a candle to my Y Job, let alone your '55 Chevy. You've got to get design back on the ball, Ed.

Cole: But Mr. Earl, how I am to do this? I'm a spirit.

Earl: Well Ed, you whisper to them, in their ears, give them ideas. They don't know it's you giving them the idea. It's like that old movie, A Guy Named Joe, with Spencer Tracey and Van Johnson. You whisper to them.

But Ed, just in case they don't listen to your whispers, (Here Harley Earl produces a flaming sword from behind his back and hands it to Cole) you give it to them boy, right in the belly. Push 'em down open stairwells, or out open windows. Hey boy, only angels have wings. Make 'em pay for what they've done to my design shop.

Cole: Mr. Earl, I couldn't do that.

Earl: Sure you could, boy. We don't have much time. If you can't get it done, the Big Guy will send down me, Al and Boss Ket and there will be the devil to pay. Nobody wants that to happen.

Cole: Mr. Sloan, Boss Ket, Mr. Earl, I'll do my best. One thing, can I stop off and see Dolly on the way?

Sloan: Son, youse got a job tuh do first. See Dolly on duh way home. Be sure tuh give her ours regards.